When smoke was in our eyes, nose, mouth . . .

      
 If you feel outrage when someone lights up a cigarette near you, even at an outdoor event, you may be too young or not remember how far we've come in almost stopping public smoking.  I was reminded of that this last week when I had to go to a throat doctor for a minor problem.  He asked if I had ever been a smoker.  I told him that I was briefly in my foolish youth.  We then reminisced about how so many of us had acquired that habit back in the day.  
      It seems almost impossible today to think of how people would light up anywhere.  If your college professor did not object, you could smoke in class, and often the professor smoked too. Some classrooms had ashtrays.  Smoking was not prohibited in hospitals even in patients' rooms or in most doctors' offices.  The doctor himself might smoke as he sat at his desk discussing your ailments.  
     Smoking was allowed on airplanes.  I remember returning from a trip to Germany when the three men across the aisle from my seat chain smoked for eight hours.  The plane's air was literally blue with their smoke.  
     Almost all schools had a Teachers' Smoking Lounge, and in my dad's school days, students had a smoking area as well.  Restaurants, bars, even certain movie theaters allowed smoking. 
     My college sophomore year my dorm roommate and I decided we wanted to start smoking to (get this) "have something to do with our hands at parties."  So, we each pitched in fifteen cents and went down to the dorm snack bar, the Co-ed Club, to buy a pack of cigarettes from the cigarette machine.  We debated over the brand, but finally decided on Pall Mall's.  I'm not sure this brand is even around any more.  Back in our room, we practiced smoking in front of the mirror, questioned each other if this posture or that one "looked awkward."  A few days later, we decided to go public.  We went back down to the Co-ed Club to have coffee and a smoke.  We felt a little self-conscious, but felt our debut was a success.
     Our plan had been deliberate and we smoked socially during the rest of our college days.  Probably because we started late, not at 14 like my dad, neither of us developed a life long addiction.  Almost everyone on campus smoked in those days.  It was the cool thing to do.    
    Center for Disease Control statistics indicate that in 1965, 42.4% of all adults in America were smokers.  By 2009, that had decreased more than half to 20.6%.  Statistics for teens were not kept until 1991.  At that time, 27.5% of teens smoked.  In 2009, that had decreased to 
19.5%.  So, we are making headway.  Today, few people would accept seeing their doctor light up in his office or tolerate smoking on an airplane.  
   It shouldn't have been a surprise when so many people developed respiratory cancers, emphysema, and asthma during and after those smoky years, but somehow it was.  Cigarettes were advertised in all the media and icons like Edward R. Murrow smoked on his television talk program.  He died with lung cancer as did many other smokers of the movie and television professions.  Finally, we caught on.  
      It is rare to see a movie hero smoke today, but a few years ago, smoking was part of the sophisticated persona of most movie characters.  There used to be a brand of cigarettes targeted for women called Virginia Slims.  The ads portrayed liberated women and their slogan was "You've come a long way, baby."  Now, I'd have to say that is true about smoking cessation. 

  

Age has taken my beauty, but not my youth

My two sisters and I when we were young and thin.

I've always referred to this as the "Three Graces" after

the Greek statue.   

              
               Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
                 Old time is still a-flying;
                And this same flower that smiles today,
                   Tomorrow will be dying.
                (Robert Herrick, "To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time")
                -------------------------------
               But at my back I always hear
               Time's winge'd chariot hurrying near
               And yonder all before us lie
               Deserts of vast eternity.
              (Andrew Marvell, "To His Coy Mistress")


       When I used to discuss the full version of these poems with my high school students, I
always knew they did not relate very much to the brevity of life implicit in the meaning.  They did understand, however, that both poems were written by men hoping to convince their ladies to make the most of time to love, the carpe diem (seize the day) idea.
        Now that I'm an old retired teacher, I understand even better that time passes quickly and that youth and beauty are brief. I think of the lines from these poems sometimes 
when I look in the mirror and when I see my beautiful grandchilden and young neighbors.  They don't know how beautiful their youth is. I didn't either at their ages.  For me, looking at old photos and not remembering looking so young is a terrible reminder of time's passage. Aging is a dilemma of our lives and part of the human condition written about so often.
      We've all seen favorite, aging celebrities trying to hold onto youth through surgery and drastic weight loss.  Most of us try to thwart age with hair dye, moisturizers, exercise, and we can hold off the appearance of age for a while, but eventually, time has its way.  Our appearance changes, our lifestyles change, our family and friends die.  How can we reconcile these things and maintain happiness.
     We can say that we must simply enjoy the time we have left.  Perhaps this is the only solution.  I have found more personal tolerance in aging.  I am more accepting of differences in people and situations.  I've developed a sort of laissez-faire attitude regarding the attitudes of other people. Let them think what they will, and let me think as I will.  Perhaps the only exception is in politics.  I've become more political.  Yes, liberal political, which amazing to me, is now a sort of dirty word.  
      And appearance.  What do we do about the look of age.  Like it or not, no matter what we 
do, we will lose our youthful figures, skin, hair and even our lithe movements.  At this moment, and that may change tomorrow, I try to look the best I can by keeping up with hair and clothing styles and maintaining a reasonable weight, not too fat, not too skinny.   It is not necessary to go to drastic measures.  Most are fleeting, anyway.  Face and body lifts eventually fail. 
      I think youth wants to control life more than age does, but you do learn with time, that life is not controllable. This not needing to struggle so hard to keep up, to get ahead, to "make it " is
the comfortable aspect of aging.  Tolerance and acceptance of new ideas are considered the territory of youth.  If that is true, then having those attitudes as we age is a return to youthful idealism, but with some wisdom.  Then, okay, that being the case, age has taken my beauty, but not my youth. 
  

Back in the day--We wore watches

    Last week at the mall, my husband and I made a quick unscientific survey of people wearing wrist watches.  I'd read that wearing one is now passe.'  We looked at the wrists of about 35 passers-by and sure enough, most arms were bare, and those wearing watches were the over 40 crowd.  
     We saw only one young person wearing one and it was over-sized and funky, a fashion statement.  We surmised that with the over 40's, a watch is a habit that has always been part of daily life.  Most young people rely on cell phones to check the time.  It is complicated, however,  to do that in some situations.  For example, if a visit is getting long, it is harder to pull out a cell phone than to surreptitiously check a watch. 
    Computers and other personal electronics have changed many old habits. Because of the cell phone, Superman could not change into his outfit.  There are few if any public telephone booths.  Many kids have probably never seen one except in the movies.  Where are the blue mailboxes that used to sit on street corners every few blocks? Today the postal service is not used for much letter writing or bill mailing.  We communicate via email, Facebook, Twitter, and we pay our bills online.  
    The past 20 years have seen the rise and fall of video stores and the closing of many travel agencies.  Computers have taken over their functions.  And I'm old enough to remember, yikes, drive-in theaters.  Most of my generation got their first kiss at one.  
     No doubt, not too far in the future, gas stations, home phones and gigantic desk computers will be things of the past.  As they say, "Change is the only constant" and "adapt or perish." It is wise to hang on to a few old traditions, but don't dismiss or be afraid of the new.